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Moreton Poetry Corner

from our talented bards (that's not an abbreviation!)


The Moreton Poets

Click on the poet to go to their poems

The Bakery Bard  The Moreton Poet

Shakespear's Sister  Kay Kwayster

Nick Nack Paddy Wack

Poetry And Prose

We've all started writing poetry and prose

Because we are worried that Moreton may close

Some of us will lose our jobs

And be replaced by agency yobs

Some double dayers will have to change their ways

Because it's the end of the good old days

There are lots of selfish twats

Who voted to rip off the yellow hats

EU law says we must all get the same

But in this factory of shame

The wages must be equalised

The temps, they may not get a rise

Instead your wages will be dropping

To get lower prices for the people shopping

The dirty deed will then be done

The time will come when the bosses have won

Mike Cocks

By The Bakery Bard

My name is Mike Cocks

I don't have many friends

Sometimes I wear glasses

Sometimes a contact lens

I am the best line manager

that ever ruled this earth

Some say I am good at my job

Or maybe a jobsworth

I sit with my missus

In the canteen eating cakes

And keep an eye on them lot

Overlapping on their breaks

The new breaks system will be hard to enforce

I'll be doing so much shouting

My throat will be dead hoarse

Some people skit at me

Because i've got a lithp

It makes me sound a little bit 

like that Quentin Cwisthp !

Heywood & Barret

By The Bakery Bard

We've heard more crap from Heywood and Barratt

And believe me, they are not worth a carrot

The stories they've told us don't quite fit

If you ask me they are both full of sh1t !

Alan Steward

By The Bakery Bard

My name is Alan Steward

Things are at a critical phase

since being released from duties

I am in a double daze

There are others I should represent

who are in the same plight

some of them do part time

and others work at night

Things should get sorted

I hope they will be swift

But I am only interested

in people on MY shift !

Phill Smarmy

By The Bakery Bard

My name is Phill Smarmy

On Line 16 I'm the boss

My suntan is perfect

My white teeth get lot's of floss

The women really like me

But then they would of course

Some people reckon I look like, 

Mr. Edd The talking horse

I can sometimes be a b*stard

When line 16 crashes

But I usually smooth things over

With a flash of my white gnashers !


By The Bakery Bard

I think Manor Bakeries are traitors

For employing women operators

On their machines they are always leaning

They should be at home doing cooking and cleaning


By Kay Kwayster

Is Des Cartes a man,or a woman of vision

Or maybee a temp who can't spell division

A prophet of doom,the end is at hand

My view is better,my head in the sand

The factory is closing,a forgone conclusion

But we're starting new lines,so why the confusion

Fight for our jobs,do what it takes

I'm sorry i'm busy,i'm sorting the breaks

Des Cartes is suffering with paranoid fears

Notwithstanding the fact,we've been here for years

Our jobs are assured,so don't be absurd

The bosses have told us,they gave us their word


By Kay Kwayster

We are the sausages,we're fit and lean

We live are lives in your canteen

Lying each day bathed in fat

attentive,listening to your chit chat

Your fate to us is no surprise

Cos we've been restructured and once were pies

So this time for us our future not dole

We,re goin to Carlton as toad in t'ole

Ode To Twin Operators

By Shakespears Sister

We go together everywhere,

She is me and I am her,

People say were both the same,

We even share the same name,

Some like to call us Twit and Twat,

Though one is thin the other Fat !

We work each day, Line seventeen,

Spend most our days in thee canteen,

Both wearing coloured stripey sox,

Go round thinkin were hard knocks,

Dont you worry though were okay,

Cos we get last break on a Friday

Nick Nack Paddy Wack

Well well well, how about a poem from the puppy brigade...

kelvin The c*nt wants to sack me

For all my hard worker in cadbury

whose life living in storeton

will no longer be supported from moreton

due to all the lies and scullduggery

A vision of a big house near the lakes

from my graft and headworking in cakes

was taken from under me

by a lying Stoke-y

intent on making me broke-y


On behalf of the dogs home

Would you buy a used cake factory from this man?

By The Moreton Poet

Would you buy a used cake factory from this man?

He's bullcrapped and lied as much as he can

Sorry Kelvin, you've been busted

Now we know you can't be trusted

We suspected that we were being blagged

Now half of us will be binbagged

With the union reps he did bond

But now they realize they've been conned

Tonight he will be sipping claret

Along with that Scotch Git Ken Barret

There is no fire without smoke

I wish they would bugger off back to Stoke

The Bloke From Stoke

By The Moreton Poet

Hello, I am The Bloke From Stoke

I’m here to stop the place going broke

Some people say I’m a bit of a nark

‘cos I ‘ve got a head like a hammerhead shark

I’m going to get the best deal for me

And take no crap from the T&G

I think it’s just a matter of time

Before Lawson signs on the dotted line

There's lot's of trouble to provoke

Because I am The Bloke From Stoke

It's great being a steward

A none rhyming verse by The Bakery Bard

Released from my normal duties and being able to chill out every day.

Kelvin is great. He organizes days out for me with all expenses paid.

A chilled out steward is a good thing for the management.

When this lot blows over I can go back to my normal job, although it will still push some poor bugger out onto the dole somewhere down the line, but that's not my problem.

Redundancy is just mind over matter.

I don't mind and you don't matter