Moreton Poetry Corner
from our talented bards (that's not an abbreviation!)
The Moreton Poets
Click on the poet to go to their poems
The Bakery Bard The Moreton Poet
Shakespear's Sister Kay Kwayster
We've all started writing poetry and prose
Because we are worried that Moreton may close
Some of us will lose our jobs
And be replaced by agency yobs
Some double dayers will have to change their ways
Because it's the end of the good old days
There are lots of selfish twats
Who voted to rip off the yellow hats
EU law says we must all get the same
But in this factory of shame
The wages must be equalised
The temps, they may not get a rise
Instead your wages will be dropping
To get lower prices for the people shopping
The dirty deed will then be done
The time will come when the bosses have won
Mike Cocks
By The Bakery Bard
My name is Mike Cocks
I don't have many friends
Sometimes I wear glasses
Sometimes a contact lens
I am the best line manager
that ever ruled this earth
Some say I am good at my job
Or maybe a jobsworth
I sit with my missus
In the canteen eating cakes
And keep an eye on them lot
Overlapping on their breaks
The new breaks system will be hard to enforce
I'll be doing so much shouting
My throat will be dead hoarse
Some people skit at me
Because i've got a lithp
It makes me sound a little bit
like that Quentin Cwisthp !
Heywood & Barret
By The Bakery Bard
We've heard more crap from Heywood and Barratt
And believe me, they are not worth a carrot
The stories they've told us don't quite fit
If you ask me they are both full of sh1t !
Alan Steward
By The Bakery Bard
My name is Alan Steward
Things are at a critical phase
since being released from duties
I am in a double daze
There are others I should represent
who are in the same plight
some of them do part time
and others work at night
Things should get sorted
I hope they will be swift
But I am only interested
in people on MY shift !
Phill Smarmy
By The Bakery Bard
My name is Phill Smarmy
On Line 16 I'm the boss
My suntan is perfect
My white teeth get lot's of floss
The women really like me
But then they would of course
Some people reckon I look like,
Mr. Edd The talking horse
I can sometimes be a b*stard
When line 16 crashes
But I usually smooth things over
With a flash of my white gnashers !
Traitors
By The Bakery Bard
I think Manor Bakeries are traitors
For employing women operators
On their machines they are always leaning
They should be at home doing cooking and cleaning
By Kay Kwayster
Is Des Cartes a man,or a woman of vision
Or maybee a temp who can't spell division
A prophet of doom,the end is at hand
My view is better,my head in the sand
The factory is closing,a forgone conclusion
But we're starting new lines,so why the confusion
Fight for our jobs,do what it takes
I'm sorry i'm busy,i'm sorting the breaks
Des Cartes is suffering with paranoid fears
Notwithstanding the fact,we've been here for years
Our jobs are assured,so don't be absurd
The bosses have told us,they gave us their word
Sausages
By Kay Kwayster
We are the sausages,we're fit and lean
We live are lives in your canteen
Lying each day bathed in fat
attentive,listening to your chit chat
Your fate to us is no surprise
Cos we've been restructured and once were pies
So this time for us our future not dole
We,re goin to Carlton as toad in t'ole
By Shakespears Sister
We go together everywhere,
She is me and I am her,
People say were both the same,
We even share the same name,
Some like to call us Twit and Twat,
Though one is thin the other Fat !
We work each day, Line seventeen,
Spend most our days in thee canteen,
Both wearing coloured stripey sox,
Go round thinkin were hard knocks,
Dont you worry though were okay,
Cos we get last break on a Friday
Well well well, how about a poem from the puppy brigade...
kelvin The c*nt wants to sack me
For all my hard worker in cadbury
whose life living in storeton
will no longer be supported from moreton
due to all the lies and scullduggery
A vision of a big house near the lakes
from my graft and headworking in cakes
was taken from under me
by a lying Stoke-y
intent on making me broke-y
On behalf of the dogs home
Would you buy a used cake factory from this man?
By The Moreton Poet
Would you buy a used cake factory from this man?
He's bullcrapped and lied as much as he can
Sorry Kelvin, you've been busted
Now we know you can't be trusted
We suspected that we were being blagged
Now half of us will be binbagged
With the union reps he did bond
But now they realize they've been conned
Tonight he will be sipping claret
Along with that Scotch Git Ken Barret
There is no fire without smoke
I wish they would bugger off back to Stoke
The Bloke From Stoke
By The Moreton Poet
Hello, I am The Bloke From Stoke
I’m here to stop the place going broke
Some people say I’m a bit of a nark
‘cos I ‘ve got a head like a hammerhead shark
I’m going to get the best deal for me
And take no crap from the T&G
I think it’s just a matter of time
Before Lawson signs on the dotted line
There's lot's of trouble to provoke
Because I am The Bloke From Stoke
It's great being a steward
A none rhyming verse by The Bakery Bard
Released from my normal duties and being able to chill out every day.
Kelvin is great. He organizes days out for me with all expenses paid.
A chilled out steward is a good thing for the management.
When this lot blows over I can go back to my normal job, although it will still push some poor bugger out onto the dole somewhere down the line, but that's not my problem.
Redundancy is just mind over matter.
I don't mind and you don't matter