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Moreton Poetry Corner from our talented bards (that's not an abbreviation!)
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The Moreton Poets Click on the poet to go to their poems The Bakery Bard The Moreton Poet Shakespear's Sister Kay Kwayster
We've all started writing poetry and prose Because we are worried that Moreton may close Some of us will lose our jobs And be replaced by agency yobs Some double dayers will have to change their ways Because it's the end of the good old days There are lots of selfish twats Who voted to rip off the yellow hats EU law says we must all get the same But in this factory of shame The wages must be equalised The temps, they may not get a rise Instead your wages will be dropping To get lower prices for the people shopping The dirty deed will then be done The time will come when the bosses have won
Mike Cocks By The Bakery Bard My name is Mike Cocks I don't have many friends Sometimes I wear glasses Sometimes a contact lens I am the best line manager that ever ruled this earth Some say I am good at my job Or maybe a jobsworth I sit with my missus In the canteen eating cakes And keep an eye on them lot Overlapping on their breaks The new breaks system will be hard to enforce I'll be doing so much shouting My throat will be dead hoarse Some people skit at me Because i've got a lithp It makes me sound a little bit like that Quentin Cwisthp !
Heywood & Barret By The Bakery Bard We've heard more crap from Heywood and Barratt And believe me, they are not worth a carrot The stories they've told us don't quite fit If you ask me they are both full of sh1t !
Alan Steward By The Bakery Bard My name is Alan Steward Things are at a critical phase since being released from duties I am in a double daze There are others I should represent who are in the same plight some of them do part time and others work at night Things should get sorted I hope they will be swift But I am only interested in people on MY shift !
Phill Smarmy By The Bakery Bard My name is Phill Smarmy On Line 16 I'm the boss My suntan is perfect My white teeth get lot's of floss The women really like me But then they would of course Some people reckon I look like, Mr. Edd The talking horse I can sometimes be a b*stard When line 16 crashes But I usually smooth things over With a flash of my white gnashers !
Traitors By The Bakery Bard I think Manor Bakeries are traitors For employing women operators On their machines they are always leaning They should be at home doing cooking and cleaning
By Kay Kwayster Is Des Cartes a man,or a woman of vision Or maybee a temp who can't spell division A prophet of doom,the end is at hand My view is better,my head in the sand The factory is closing,a forgone conclusion But we're starting new lines,so why the confusion Fight for our jobs,do what it takes I'm sorry i'm busy,i'm sorting the breaks Des Cartes is suffering with paranoid fears Notwithstanding the fact,we've been here for years Our jobs are assured,so don't be absurd The bosses have told us,they gave us their word
Sausages By Kay Kwayster We are the sausages,we're fit and lean We live are lives in your canteen Lying each day bathed in fat attentive,listening to your chit chat Your fate to us is no surprise Cos we've been restructured and once were pies So this time for us our future not dole We,re goin to Carlton as toad in t'ole
By Shakespears Sister We go together everywhere, She is me and I am her, People say were both the same, We even share the same name, Some like to call us Twit and Twat, Though one is thin the other Fat ! We work each day, Line seventeen, Spend most our days in thee canteen, Both wearing coloured stripey sox, Go round thinkin were hard knocks, Dont you worry though were okay, Cos we get last break on a Friday
Well well well, how about a poem from the puppy brigade... kelvin The c*nt wants to sack me For all my hard worker in cadbury whose life living in storeton will no longer be supported from moreton due to all the lies and scullduggery A vision of a big house near the lakes from my graft and headworking in cakes was taken from under me by a lying Stoke-y intent on making me broke-y
On behalf of the dogs home
Would you buy a used cake factory from this man? By The Moreton Poet Would you buy a used cake factory from this man? He's bullcrapped and lied as much as he can Sorry Kelvin, you've been busted Now we know you can't be trusted We suspected that we were being blagged Now half of us will be binbagged With the union reps he did bond But now they realize they've been conned Tonight he will be sipping claret Along with that Scotch Git Ken Barret There is no fire without smoke I wish they would bugger off back to Stoke
The Bloke From Stoke By The Moreton Poet Hello, I am The Bloke From Stoke I’m here to stop the place going broke Some people say I’m a bit of a nark ‘cos I ‘ve got a head like a hammerhead shark I’m going to get the best deal for me And take no crap from the T&G I think it’s just a matter of time Before Lawson signs on the dotted line There's lot's of trouble to provoke Because I am The Bloke From Stoke
It's great being a steward A none rhyming verse by The Bakery Bard Released from my normal duties and being able to chill out every day. Kelvin is great. He organizes days out for me with all expenses paid. A chilled out steward is a good thing for the management. When this lot blows over I can go back to my normal job, although it will still push some poor bugger out onto the dole somewhere down the line, but that's not my problem. Redundancy is just mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter
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